A new study has uncovered a foolproof cure for male low self-esteem: grow your hair out and slap on some lipstick.
The before-and-after study is irrefutable. Disgusting, balding, middle-aged men across the country who couldn’t get a girl if she was growing his ass, instantly triggering an avalanche of compliments from liberal women with as little effort as announcing “I’m a woman.”
“It’s crazy,” said Lila (formerly Larry), “I’m literally not putting any effort into it other than skipping haircuts and smearing on lipstick haphazardly. Dying my hair purple for bonus points. Before that, women wouldn’t acknowledge me with anything more than a gag reflex, but now they comment on all my photos, calling me brave and beautiful and cheering me on! It’s great for my self-esteem… not to mention they give me access to their bathrooms and locker rooms now!”
