In an embarrassing admission, No Notes News Editor-in-Chief Chris Cowan admitted today that he has been accidentally publishing headlines from the “rejected” folder since the site’s launch in December 2025. The folder, titled “Definitely Not Funny,” contained a slew of headlines that were deemed “too confusing,” “just plain offensive” or “possibly racist.”
“I can’t believe it,” said Cowan, staring at a printout of the headline, “’Mattel Re-Releases “Train Conductor Ken” as ‘Autism Ken,’’ That was supposed to be a joke, but it just made people feel seen.”
Other accidentally published headlines include:
• “In New Crafting Video, Ms Rachel Teaches Children How To Decorate Their Vests With C4”
• “Trump Excitedly Stamps ‘Venezuela’’ On His “Countries To Destabilize’’ BINGO Card”
• SCOTUS Rules Men Can Still Compete With Women, But Only In The Butch Lesbian Sports Like Softball Or Roller Derby”
The No Notes News team is now in crisis mode, with staffers reportedly scrambling to find the ‘good’ headlines folder, which is rumored to be labeled ‘The Funny Stuff.’ When asked for comment, Cowan simply muttered, ‘I knew I should have just stuck to my gut. My gut is hilarious.’
