WASHINGTON, DC—During a recent press conference, President Donald Trump expressed deep concern over men competing in women’s sports.
“Folks, it’s a disaster,” Trump boomed to a cheering crowd in Crestline, California. “We have these big, strong guys—incredible athletes, believe me—swimming against the ladies. And now, how do I know? I mean, back in the day, it was simple: You see a lovely lady in a locker room, you grab ’em by the… you know. But now? It’s confusing! They’re all very beautiful. But is that a champion or a champi-onne?”
At publishing, Trump was considering building walls around the locker rooms. An Advisor was heard whispering in his ear, “The locker rooms already have walls, Mr. President.”
